When X-Men Origins: Wolverine is arguably the best the blockbuster season has to offer, you know it’s been a pretty weak blockbuster season. But where Wolverine succeeds (and that’s not often) and where Star Trek fails is in terms of faithfulness. Wolverine at least tries to pull from the source material, but Star Trek actually makes the point to completely disregard its roots in four main failures.
Failure #1: Spock. Where to begin… Well, let’s start with all the whining. For a Vulcan, he sure does do a lot of it. Instead of being presented as the weirdly calm, rational voice of reason he represented in Leonard Nimoy’s depiction, Zachary Quinto is only as good as the awkward writing will allow – awkward as in a makeout session with the over-used Lt. Uhura, whose mommy-complex is among the creepiest surprises the movie has to offer.
Failure #2: No Trek. The charm of the original Star Trek premise was the concept of exploration – “to seek out new life and new civilizations.” This alternate reality version doesn’t go anywhere, both in terms of plot and space. There’s nothing learned, no social commentaries made, no lessons taken away. It’s simply just action, which is definitely surprising coming from director J.J. Abrams who co-created one of the most complex, character-driven TV dramas of all time, Lost, in which something new is learned every 2 minutes.
Failure #3: Kirk. There’s only one and it’s not Chris Pine. William Shatner made saving the universe a game of strategy and machismo all the while keeping a cool about him that made him appealing to the hip 60’s generation, but Pine’s Kirk is even whinier than his Vulcan best friend/most bitter/sexual rival. (They both pine after Uhura and with the way she dresses, who could blame them?) He’s so self-loathing (as opposed to the self-aggrandizing Shatner) that he deserves to be in a padded room more than a captain’s chair. Of course, that doesn’t stop him from (kinda) graduating Starfleet Academy and being promoted to captain THE SAME DAY. Wouldn’t it be nice to go to that school…
Failure #4: No real villain. Sure there’s Eric Bana as Captain Nero, but who cares? He takes up about 10 minutes of screen time and lacks any real motivation or development. Compared to the calculating, tragic and obsessed Khan from Star Trek II, Nero might as well be an extra on Stargate.
What prevents this movie from being a colossal failure is one thing – it looks really, really cool. While I still advise the smarter fans looking for something deeper to stay away, those of you who like explosions and cool CGI effects (and who doesn’t?), feast your eyes because there’s a lot to take in. There’s even a sword fight on a satellite! Hey, no one saw Transformers for the plot and this movie should be treated the same. It’s just unfortunate that for a franchise who claims to have gone “where no man has gone before,” it sure seems an awful lot like Michael Bay beat them to it.
**1/2 (Two and a half stars)
Tom Gavin
10-23-2009